Love is…..

Love can be defined and determined differently for everyone but for me it’s endless support. Becoming frustrated when you can’t cheer the other up because you know it’s something they have to deal with personally but it still hurts that you can’t help. Going on random late night trips for Mcdonalds milkshakes or a big ass bottle of coke zero cherry after a loooong shift.

Love is every time he looks at me like I’m high but still laughs because my oddities are normal to him. It’s all the times he calls me sexy after I fart or beautiful as I dress. It’s how he knows when to switch Adele off because I love listening to her but she eventually makes me too emotional with her gloriously emotive lyrics. It’s the patience he shows me when we go round clothes shops and the way he now bans me from New Look because ‘that shop always makes you sad!’ (they don’t like my boobs or general plus size bod).

Love is when I watch him sleeping (and rather loudly snoring) and think there’s no one I’d want to wake up or fall asleep next to. It’s all the adventures we go on spontaneously that don’t always work out perfectly but are always perfect eventually. It’s the ‘great’ idea we had to walk to the ‘nearby’ beach along the coastal path and ending up walking for over ten miles in the scorching sun (and getting insanely lost!) and still laughing at the end of it. It’s making it through the tough conversations and admissions of defeat or being wrong after all. And them not holding it against you. It’s spoiling each for no other reason then because we can and want to. It’s the hugs I didn’t realize we needed until our shoulders relax and we exhale like we’ve been trapped under water. It’s the hands that always find mine and keep me safe.

It’s the man that sat by my side with other members of my family, as we watched my grandfather slowly and painlessly pass away before his time.
He came straight from work that very day we got the call.
He held me as I cried and cried and cried.
He stood by me as I mourned, struggled and hated the world for the injustice it had dealt us all.
And he still stands by me now.
After years of long distance, studying, stress, anxiety, mourning, uncertainty about our futures, everything.
He stands by me still.
Smiles, holds my hand and tells me he loves me.

And love is knowing that I will never stop pushing myself and trying to be someone he deserves.
Someone that will do all he has done for me and more.
Someone that will with time make him realize his own potential, ability and worth.
Because he really is worth it all.